


scalie luv x3 (randall x ME!)

by dunkleosteus



Category: Monsters University (2013)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 18:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10541955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunkleosteus/pseuds/dunkleosteus
Summary: A/N: this is so self indulgent!! >///<





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [my immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/281739) by ebony dark'ness raven dementia way. 



> A/N: this is so self indulgent!! >///<

_AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im scalie) 2 my bf (ew not in that way) mauthe vacive 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Midi ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!_

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Hi my name is Ganymede Dark'ness Raven Dementia Way and I have short teal hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my shoulders and one red eye and one icy blue eye like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee _(AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)_. [[I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a mermaid but my tail can transform into legs. I have pale blue skin. I’m also a monster, and I go to a scare school called Monsters University where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets _(AN: get it?)_ and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Monsters University. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Gany!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Randall!

“What’s up Randy?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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_AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!_


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Fangz 2 mauthe 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!_

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my fish tank and drank some saltwater from a bottle I had. My fish tank was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my tank and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Midi  _(AN: Midi dis is u!)_ woke up then and grinned at me. They flipped their long waist-length blonde hair with pink streaks and opened their forest-green eyes. They put on their Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Randall Boggs yesterday!” they said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Randy?” they asked as we went out of the frat house and into the Courtyard.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Randall walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. “Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: self harm, not graphic

_AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da scalie ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN MAUTHE! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte._

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped blue fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some fish blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Randall was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner _(AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!)_.

“Hi Randall!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Gany.” he said back. We walked into his flying Black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel _(I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song)_.

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Randall, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Randall looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Randall sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Randall. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Randall and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Randall didn’t go back into Monsters University, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: nsfw

_AN: I sed stup flaming ok gany’s name is GNAY nut mary su OK! RANDALL IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!_

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“RANDY!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Randall didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Gany?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Randall leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Randall kissed me passionately. Randall climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my pants. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale blue body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Sully swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im **nut** updating umtil I get five good revoiws!_

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Sully made and Randall and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Randall comforted me. When we went back to the castle Sully took us to the hedmasters who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked my professor.

“How dare you?” demanded another one.

And then Randall shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Randall and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Ebony?” Draco asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the boy’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Randall was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6(66)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready 2 meet a RLLY GOOD CHARACTERE!!

_AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!_

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The next day I woke up in my fish tank. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Cafeteria, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of fish blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing a singular red contact lense just like Randall’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Mike Wazowski, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Randall came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: nsfw

_AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Gaby isn’t a Marie Sue ok he isn’t perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!_

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Randall and I held our scaly hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish _(AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?)_. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eye. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Randall. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Randall. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather thong and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. _(c is dat stupid?)_

“Oh Randall, Randall!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on one of Randall's four arms. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Randall pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Randall ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with some people.

“VAMPIRE WAZOWSKI, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: suicide mention

_AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!_

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Randall came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Gany, it’s not what you think!” Randall screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Gia Meme smiled at me understatedly. He flipped his gothic black hair and opened his crimson eyes like blood that he was wearing contact lenses on. He had dark skin that he was wearing makeup on. Terry was kidnapped when he was born. His real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Hardscrabble killed his mother and his father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. He still has nightmares about it and he is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out his real last name is Foley and not Lero. (Since he has converted to Satanism she is in Python Nu Kappa now not Roar Omega Roar. )

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Knight demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Randall!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Gany was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Gany) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Squishy, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Randall anymore!” said Vampire.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Randall and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if solly swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson kngiht dosent lik mike now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!_

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Randall for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Randall.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible woman with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me withh huge wings! She didn’t have a nose (basically like Hardscrabble in the movie) and she was wearing all black but it was obvious she wasn’t gothic. It was…… Hardscrabble!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Hardscrabble shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Hardscrabble's wings froze and fell and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Gany.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Wazowski!”

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eye and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Randall had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Ranadll went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Hardscrabble!” I shouted back.

Hardscrabble gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Randall!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Hardscrabble got a dude-ur-so-stupid look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Randall came into the woods.

“Randall!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Monsters University together making out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: homophobia, self harm, suicide

_AN: stup it u gays if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b’loody gia isn’t a human afert al n he n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!_

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I was really scared about Hradscrabble all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B’loody Gia, Vampire, Randall, Pastel (although we call them Diabolo now. They have black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Waternoose. Only today Randall and Vampire were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Randall was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt and tiny matching miniskirt that said Juicy on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Gany! Are you OK?” B’loody Gia asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Hardscrabble came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Mike! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Randall. But if I don’t kill Mike, then Hardscrabble, will fucking kill Randall!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Randall jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser human bitch!” _(c is dat out of character?)_

I started to cry and cry. Randall started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Sully walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. _(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y)_ “Gany Randall has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: self harm, pedophilia, death

_AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend moth 4 hleping me!_

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Gia tried to comfort me but I told him fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Sully chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Knigh was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Waternoose was masticating to it! They were sitting on a windowsill.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Knight and Waternoose pointing his finger. I took my gun and shot Knight and Waternoose a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Suylly ran in. “Gany, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Knight and Waternoose and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Worthington ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Worhington? You’re just a little Monsters University student!”

“I MAY BE A MONSTERS UNIVERSTIY STUDENT….” Worthtington paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Knit said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Sully’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Waternoose held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Waternoose said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Worthington said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Knight asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HIM!”


End file.
